How do you feel about your body when you look in the mirror or picture yourself in your mind? This feeling, whether positive or negative, is known as your body image.
It is estimated that 69-84% of adult women experience body dissatisfaction or negative body image. This overwhelming majority of women may feel guilt, shame, or embarrassment over how they look. This often results in restrictive dieting in order to lose weight.
Sound familiar? If we are going to be helpful in improving or preventing body image struggles for our children, we have to start with improving body image for ourselves.
Body Image & Self-Esteem in Children
Studies have shown that about 50% of young girls are already experiencing body dissatisfaction. Why? Why would a 4th grade girl feel this way if their mother, grandmother, aunts, etc. have only told them how beautiful they are? Children learn beliefs about their young, growing bodies by watching the people around them.
Affirming words are not enough, they need to see the adult women in their lives accepting their bodies. They need to see adult women who are unafraid to wear a swimsuit. They need to hear adult women speak positively about the photos they are in. They need to feel an adult woman’s confidence in the body she has now, not the one she had in her youth.
The best way to improve or prevent body image struggles in your child is to address your own body image struggles. That includes changing the language used in your household about food, the body, and body changes. Below are some examples and suggestions that you are welcome to try out for yourself and in your own family.
Raising Confident Children
Here are some helpful phrases to say when discussing feelings about our bodies:
“Bodies change, it’s normal”
“Change can be hard”
“I feel uncomfortable about how I look, and this feeling will pass”
“My body is the least interesting thing about me”
OR WE CAN OFFER MORE DIALOG EXAMPLES: WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Child: “Mommy can we try on your wedding dress, you look so pretty in this picture!”
Mom: “Oh sweetie that dress doesn’t fit me anymore”
Child: “Why?”
Mom: “Bodies change, it’s normal”
Mom: “You look so darling in that swimsuit sweetheart! I wish I could still wear a cute little bikini like that” (negative example)
Instead, try…
Mom: I feel more comfortable in a one-piece swimsuit in this season of life, and that’s okay.
Mom: Ugh I hate the way that photo turned out. I need to start dieting again. (negative example)
Instead, try…
Mom: I don’t love the way I look in that photo, and I know my children will look back at this photo and remember all the fun memories. I want to be a part of that.
Child: “Mama do you want to have ice cream with me?”
Mom: “No honey, Mama can’t eat that kind of stuff anymore!” (negative example)
Instead try…
Mom: “That looks so yummy! But my tummy just isn’t hungry for ice cream right now, thank you for asking!”
(or you can choose to eat ice cream with your child, unapologetically!)
Reference: Here
